My formula for a kickass Amazon book blurb

When it comes to marketing a book, everything matters: the editing, the formatting (both print and ebook), the ancillary swag, the author photo, the author bio, the cover, the release date–the list goes on and on. And that list, my friends, includes the Amazon blurb.

Writing an Amazon blurb is just as annoying as writing a synopsis of your book. It is, however, about fifty bajillion times more important. Here’s why:

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Do book covers matter? (Spoiler: YES, THEY DO.)

A few weeks ago, I was corresponding with an author who was inquiring about our services. I went through her booklist, and suggested that she may want to rethink many of her covers to have them really speak to her genre, catch the eye of more readers in her genre, and just work better, overall, within Amazon’s “cover thumbnail” environment.

Not surprisingly, she balked at this. I say not surprisingly, because this is the reaction nearly every author has when told their cover is not great. Look, I totally get it. I’m basically telling you your baby is ugly. I’m telling you that I don’t care that your baby can count to 10, or can identify shapes, or knows the colors in the rainbow. I’m telling you that I don’t give a shiny turd about who your baby is or what your baby can do, because your baby’s face and the way you’ve got you baby dressed are UGLY and that makes me not want to get to know your baby at all. I get it because I’m a mom, and if you ever told me ANYTHING like that about my babies, then I would punch you in the face with all the strength in my Momma Bear body.

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